To the Guardians of Our Feet, the Makers of Our Sporting Shoes:
Your products are wonderful, your shoes are high tech. They cradle our feet, support our arches, are feather light, and are available in dizzying assortments of colors and styles for every sport and preferences. The treads are marvels of manufacturing prowess, their intricate grooves preventing many a slip or fall while cushioning our lowest extremities from all manner of harm. But in those grooves lies the problem, those deep, intricate, convoluted grooves.
You see, dear makers of footwear, those grooves are wonderful for hardwood and concrete, for all manner of surfaces unnatural. However, a foray into the real world can quickly lead to disaster. One misplaced step into a pile of dog droppings and the wearer is in a world of hurt. Every deep crevasse is suddenly filled with odorous muck. Each ravine clings to the doggie debris.
Could you please get the R&D folks busy creating a teflon coating for your treads. A coating from which the natural mucks and oozes of the world will not stick? It would be much appreciated by those of us who like to venture outside of the gym and into the natural world.
Now, excuse me while I take my flat trowel and continue my poological excavations of my running shoe treads!