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Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Coping with Anger and Frustration: Ten Articles That Help

Constructive approaches to destructive
emotions
There are times when we all have setbacks that leave us emotionally battered and seething. There are other times when people or circumstances are just so deeply disappointing we want to scream. So, the question arises, what does one do with this white hot mess when it rises up inside? How do we cope. Here are some articles I hope will help you ... and me. Let's explore them together.

Realsimple.com provides sixteen ways of coping with different types of anger and frustration: http://www.realsimple.com/health/mind-mood/best-manage-your-anger

Lifehack has some good methods of dealing with the frustration arising out of anger. I'm doing one of them this very moment: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/six-great-ways-to-vent-your-frustrations.html

The American Psychological Association has some very good advice on dealing with anger AND explode the poisonous myth that "letting it all hang out" is healthy or in any way good: http://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control.aspx

I found this advice from the APA particularly valuable in my circumstances:
Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world is "not out to get you," you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Do this each time you feel anger getting the best of you, and it'll help you get a more balanced perspective. Angry people tend to demand things: fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things their way. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don't get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren't met, their disappointment becomes anger. As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires. In other words, saying, "I would like" something is healthier than saying, "I demand" or "I must have" something. When you're unable to get what you want, you will experience the normal reactions—frustration, disappointment, hurt—but not anger. Some angry people use this anger as a way to avoid feeling hurt, but that doesn't mean the hurt goes away.
Helpguide.org also has some wonderful tips, particularly on bullying: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/emotional-health/anger-management.htm
True power doesn’t come from bullying others. People may be afraid of you, but they won’t respect you if you can’t control yourself or handle opposing viewpoints. Others will be more willing to listen to you and accommodate your needs if you communicate in a respectful way.
The Mayo Clinic provides ten excellent tips for dealing with anger too: http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/adult-health/in-depth/anger-management/art-20045434

Kidshealth.org has advice that is short and sweet: http://kidshealth.org/teen/expert/emotions/bully_stress.html

WebMD has me talking to myself (in a good way): http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/tc/overcoming-frustration-and-anger-topic-overview

Mind Tools has some great techniques to implement at work for anger, frustration, worry, the whole range: http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newCDV_41.htm

Love Our Children USA has anger management tips for parents on those really frustrating days: http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/parent_controlanger.php

Penn Behavioral Health has a very valuable PDF file for coping with anger and frustration in the workplace: http://www.pennbehavioralhealth.org/documents/handling_anger_and_frustration_at_work.pdf

There you have it. Ten articles on helping us cope with those really awful days where everything seems to be going wrong. Take a deep breath, sit back, relax, and read through these. Those constructive steps will start you down the right path. Take care of yourself and those you love. Peace.

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