The Thirty Minute Blogger

Exploring Books and the Writer's Life, Faith and Works, Culture and Pop Culture, Space Science and Science Fiction, Technology and Nostalgia, Parenting and Childhood, Health: Physical and Emotional ... All Under the Iron Hands of the Clock and That 30 Minute Deadline

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Parents: The Stories We Tell Ourselves Are Important to Our Children, Be Kind!

Just as Michael and the New Baby frames the experience of becoming an older brother or sister in a positive light and impacts upon the perceptions of children, so the narratives we tell ourselves impact upon how we deal with our children and what we tell them about themselves.

Each and every one of us has a little voice in our heads spinning out the narrative of our lives. When we are anxious, this little voice is a hectoring critic. If we accept the negative judgements of this little guy or gal, we fall into a trap of viewing ourselves as forever the screw up, as forever worthless in the eyes of others and more horribly, in the eyes of ourselves. If we are parents, and we accept that image, we will surely pass it along to our children in all we say and do. This morning's paper declares studies find fathers who are depressed are more likely to spank their children. As you see, the misery we feel when we tear ourselves down is misery we are going to pass along to those we love.

On the other hand, we can train ourselves to adjust that inner narrative. We can and should focus on the positive. Remind yourself of the talents you have been blessed with. Remember your accomplishments and celebrate them when they happen, no matter how small. Now, don't go so far as to become a narcissist, but give yourself a break and tell yourself a positive story. When you do, you'll have a better outlook on yourself, your life, and the lives of those around you. You will project a positive point of view to your children and they will love you for that, when later in life they  realize the importance of that gift.

Reframe the experience of your life for yourself. Tell yourself a better story. You'll live a happier life and have a more positive impact on the lives of those around you.

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